some of my friends, and my mother too i think, laugh when i say this. but tonight, we have to clean our place. why? because our house cleaner is coming tomorrow. that’s right, we clean our place to prepare for the house cleaner.
let me put some context around that.
the individual who cleans for us came with recommendations from multiple friends of mine. i was at a place and time in life where i wanted to have someone clean for us. you know, stuff you don’t like doing.. like the bathroom, mopping the floors, etc. all the dusting.
on one hand, our cleaner is very anal-retentive. he cleans everything and leaves no item untouched. we come back to find things arranged neatly. maybe a day later we realize all our kitchen toys are sorted. or the vase full of corks is centered on the counter.
things like that. on the other hand, our cleaner is very picky. there are certain things, which he does not do. he does not do dishes or pick up our laundry. he won’t pick up all the photography toys if they are scattered about. he will certainly not clean graduated cylinders and stained development trays. he’s just not our parent.
which makes sense, if you think about. if i’ve disected a camera shutter on the table, would i even want someone messing with it? i should also be able to pick up after myself to some reasonable degree. who wants to deal with my dirty clothes? sure, there may be dirty surfaces in the house but he will approach them with the appropriate liquids, powders, and tools. there’s nothing between him and unclean other than the solution.
a few times we were slacking off in our pre-cleaning and it merited a firm message from him in email. i felt so bad because of it. he laid out very plainly what he does and does not do. and he said he was sorry, but that’s just the way [he] works. on another occasion, things got worse. he left another nastygram, more stern than the first. he basically quit on us because of it.
i will admit, we had crossed the line. we had moved from the place where we started subscribing to his services. the new place was smaller, more difficult to take the bus to, and was easier to mess up. for days, the dear john email he sent stayed in my thoughts. for much longer, actually. so much so, that after he eventually returned to service our place, we began our ritualistic pre-cleaning.
in preparation, we put everything away. we clear the floors. all the laundry is put where it belongs. all the toys are put back in their boxes or shelves. the wine bottles on the floor are put on shelves. all the photography equipment makes its way to the second bedroom. the burke and james camera is reset with all its accessories and tripod to its display mode. the desk is cleared of all mail and papers. all the empty containers are put in a bag for recycling. even the laptop is stowed in its bag with its cables.
i now live in a small, but measurable fear of our house cleaner. we have a schedule now, so we know when to expect him. and the day or two before his arrival, i get so stressed out and preoccupied with making sure our place is ready for him.
so that’s why we frantically clean before the house cleaner comes.
