this is a scan from playing with white paper. the negative was pretty darn dark. i think what happened was i had elmer too far back and the flashes hit him. the look quickly grew on me. when the ambient light was so bright, it was difficult to tell where the flash was hitting at all. i probably would have seen it on the polaroids, but my first pola shot turned out so great i shot the rest of the time on 120 (didn’t want to press my luck). i’ll have to keep that in mind for next time.

i’ve been drooling over 8×10 portraits for days now. the tones are incredible.

oh man.. how i pine for the ansco now. need to save up again so i can get back into LFgoodness.

my friend elmer came over; he wanted some new pics and i wanted to try the above shot in 4×5. shot two rolls of 6×7 on 120, and various polaroids. everything worked out perfect. pretty proud of this image.

i took advantage of the great light on my apartment’s patio. i used flashes to brighten up the backdrop but used ambient lighting otherwise. even though i’ve been obcessing about lights, today was great practice using available lighting.

i’m finding large format up to the task of anything i want to do. i’ve wanted to try some techniques i’ve read about and i’ve been able to do them all without too much effort.

what a great feeling it is — tools not getting in your way towards a creative goal.

i have some ideas about stretching my current darkroom limits.. and i’ve been thinking about the project with coworkers. and i have another idea for a series of portraits.

a group of germans walking down the sidewalk; the leading woman was missing her two front teeth.

two drunks arguing over the meaning of entries on a receipt for booze.

a guy with a mullet playing chinese chess with two girls.

woke up. cofee as usual, but late. did dishes and trash. sorted out old cds and cases that are mismatched. imported a bunch of music into itunes.

been listening to rick wakeman and earth wind + fire all day long.

saw a movie.

nobody is saying much to me about cars. i’m going for the really fast one.

i have a photo shoot tomorrow morning.

damn, time — i mean real time — to myself is what i needed. it gets better: i have tomorrow, too. in fact, i have so much time off saved up i have to take it. that and i have three comp days stacked up. i owe me.

you know what would be the best best best bestest present for me ever? a copy of the out-of-print new age album, 101 North. i’d be your friend forever. maybe i’ll write something about that album next time.

oh man, i’d totally kill for that album.

oops, i forgot paper. i meant to go shopping for a roll of seamless paper today.

this week has been murder on my nerves.

every day at work has been dealing with large, complex, annoying issues. audits that are getting blown out of proportion. multiple hardware failures in the backup system and no end in sight. i’m on the verge of putting everything on hold so i can concentrate on one issue at a time. like that will happen!

then every day after work i had to drive to my dad’s house, which is the most stressful drive i ever take.. only to get to his house, which makes me itch all over from the cat dander. sometimes i change clothes just for visiting his house. every time i get home from the house, i take my clothes off and take a shower. like clockwork.

so after a gruelling week i get home to my apartment, which is a wreck since i’ve barely been home. i can’t even sit down because my couch is full of clothes. today i threw crap to the floor, almost yelling as i did, and turned on the air conditioner and music.

i have to wake up early tomorrow for some work tasks, then i am triple-booked for the day, none of which i can really get out of.

not to mention i have my own things i need to get done this weekend. i’m on the verge of buying a new car, which i am not looking forward to.

i’m already getting a hard time about it. but i’m really getting sick of thinking about other people and not spending enough energy on myself.

i already laid the groundwork for taking some time off. it is SAD that i have to take away work time just to get time to myself.

i’m just glad i don’t have any ice cream in the apartment now.

today i officially turned on virus scanning for email on the server i run. my mom writes back, saying she’s proud of me. so my new tag line is — offramp.org: kid tested, mother approved.

since yesterday afternoon, it’s picked up 18 infected emails. load on the machines are significantly higher. i need to save up for a new shell host. finally replace the ultra5 with a 1u server. i should bring my camera next time i’m at the colo. i’m proud of what i’ve been doing.